I’ve been through too much pain
and too much suffering
lots of disappointments
and have been hurting
so many emotions
I have felt
so many things
in which I have dealt
been through so much
been through it all
no one can tell me
“this is my call”
I’ve been stupid
I’ve been dumb
it’s too late
I’m too numb
I can’t feel anything
can’t feel anymore
everything’s changed
it’s not like before
I cannot change fate
I cannot turn back time
but how I wish everyday
that he would be mine
ever so softly
his heart I would touch
stroking it gently
still, it’s not enough
what more can I do
what more to say
wonder if it’s him
or he’s fading away
just loving him
tears me apart
leaving me to bleed
after ripping my heart
You’re going off on a plane.
“I’ll be back,” you assured me.
I believed it, but it still hurts.
Things wouldn’t be the same without you…
It’s not like you were gone forever
But I know you won’t be near.
No longer could I chill with you,
No more lame jokes to hear.
You’re leaving on a jetplane…
At least I’ll know when you’ll be back again.
Still, I’d hate for you to go…
I wish I could cling on
And let you know how much you mean to me.
But you already know that
And probably tell me to stop being silly.
I can’t help it
I’m being such a baby.
Missing you would be inevitable…
Still, it won’t be long.
Time’ll pass like swift horses
Galloping across the open fields.
Before we know it, you’ll be home…
But you’ll leave again
* This poem is dedicated to Rae S. who will always be my other whole
Will I ever know
What you feel for me?
Be it a friend or less
But right now I can’t see
Will I ever know
That my love has been in vain?
That I should just give up
And not try again
Will I ever know
What you wanted to say?
But you avoided the issue
And forgot till today
Will I ever know
What you see in me?
Just another girl
Or your destiny
What do I want to know?
The truth or the lie?
Will I ever know?
That I can’t decide…
The image I see before me
Is a lovely, beautiful face
But a little factor
Seemed pretty out of place
It’s not the cute nose
Nor is it the pale skin
Maybe it’s the lips
Which were set rather grim
I concentrated harder
To spot that little flaw
I was shocked at the discovery
Cos it ran from eye to jaw
Tears were rolling down
Splashing onto her cheeks
Sorrow she’s been hiding
Many days, many weeks
Her throat would not utter
A single sob she’ll hide
She wouldn’t let anyone
Pry and probe inside
As I stared at the tear-stained face
My heart reached out to her
I started to touch that image
But it began to blur
Slowly a clear image
Begin to form, I see
I was amazed
To see that it was me
It dawned upon me
That I’ve been looking at a mirror
It showed me what I was inside—
That tear-stained face little girl
I hate myself for loving you
cos love’s suppose to be a good thing, true?
then why am I so unhappy?
as my heart dries up like autumn leaves
I never had the chance
to have your first dance
nor the second or the third
nor the forth afterward
but not one chance to me you’d give
not a chance to make you believe
how to proof my love to you
so sweet, too strong, much too true
what is it that you want from me?
is there something I can’t see?
can’t you place a little trust?
so there’s a start for an “us”
I don’t blame if you don’t know
it’s just too hard to let you go
I only have this one shot
and you’re all that I got
* This poem is dedicated to Him who doesn’t know but found out and things weren’t the same anymore…
I took a lonely walk home…
chose the path we took
the night you walked me home…
do you remember the fun we had?
I do…
it’s still fresh in my memory
like it was just last night…
could you feel anything?
nothing at all?
I felt pretty special and important
like I was worth it all…
was I really worth the walk?
or it’s just time you’re killing?
the familiar scenes filled my vision.
everything looked the same.
difference is that you’re not here
beside me is just a space…
and oh how it helps
that a couple had to walk by…
a tug of unhappiness pulls my heart…
and a jewel love song
had to play in my ears.
as I walked home alone…
* This poem is dedicated to Him who doesn’t know but found out and things weren’t the same anymore…
I wore a new necklace today
I thought I could meet you
but my hopes were evaporated
as fast as the morning dew
my heart had been hoping
ever since the sun rose
just to see you for the day
I thought I had nothing to lose
you did it before
and you did it again
I should have given up
love just isn’t my game
that’s why I’ve stopped
hoping anymore
as the sign “no hope”
has been hung on your door