she falls apart

There have been times
When I wished you didn’t
Say and reveal anything
That I didn’t speak my
Mind and worries
That I should have been
Silent

Because when you start
Something halfway and
Refuse to continue
That is a bad sign
And I get the vibes
Of a bad feeling

And being the usual
Pessimist that I am I
Would think of the
Worse case scenario that
My mind is capable of
Conjuring

So much so that I am
Eager yet I have a great
Fear of what you’re about
To say half the time

Future regrets I am
Having but all the more
Regrets I’ve had that I
Can’t let it go and rest
The case because you
Mean too much to me
To just let you go without
A fight

A fight not because I still
Have hope but because I
Still believe and because
A fight as you are
Worth it

Every single scape and
Bruise that is flung onto
My fragile and broken
Heart is worth the pain
All because you are
Worth it

She sits in the dark and
Sees nothing in front
She just stares as
The melancholic tunes
Fill her ears willing
To shut her noisy
Thoughts that are
Screaming inside
Her head

She looks out of
Her window she
Lookds down below
Where tiny people
Walk like ants

She opens the window
And looks again
So tiny she thinks
So small, so free
So carefree
She leans forward and
Takes a step and
Fall

You weren’t there at
The bottom with your
Arms open to catch
Her at all

She’s gone now and
So’s a part of
You

Yay. I updated! Added Dene’s works. Go check it out

Victoria’s brother, Ken, was driving me home one summer night. His girlfriend, May, was sitting in the passenger seat, while Victoria and I were in the back. We were having a little trouble getting to my house because I had just recently moved and was not exactly sure about directions. All I knew was that I lived off of Rainbow Drive, in some townhouse place. Since that wasn’t exactly helpful, we got lost pretty soon.

After fifteen minutes of aimless driving, Ken started going uphill towards the richer areas. “I definitely don’t live around here,” I said. He just shrugged and continued driving. We looked, with mouths open in awe, at the houses that seemed to glare threateningly at us. Our only source of light came from the car’s headlights as there were no street lights up in the hills. Darting shadows and shifting winds were starting to make me nervous. But Ken continued driving uphill.

When we finally reached the top, he turned the car around. I gasped, for I had received the most delightful gift. There, in front of us, was the most breathtaking view. Golden lights winked brightly, dotting the entire town. They flirted with their brilliance and luster, coaxing even the most ill-tempered person to feel joy. Woven between these lights were shapes of houses and buildings. They changed and moved, fitting together despite of their differences. Looking up, I could see the horizon, an infinite line blurring to become one with the sky. The sky stretched endlessly. Its color was a magnificent fusion of pinkish-purple, and Midas-gold. To capture that view would be impossible, but that moment left a trace of hope.

Each time we are overwhelmed with problems, we feel that there is no meaning in our lives. Blaming ourselves seems to be a natural outlet for our frustrations. We get so caught up in the misery, the self-pity, and the I’m-in-hell feeling, that we forget about the good things. It’s no secret that we live in a world of depravity and hate. But pay attention to the little details, and it really isn’t quite as hopeless. The blooming daisy, the sincere smile, the crying new-born; beauty is right in front of us. It isn’t until we take a step out of our world that we are able to see the bigger picture. And it is beautiful.

That’s when I knew for sure. On that hot muggy summer night, as I gazed in wonder, my mind was clear of all doubts. We are all okay.

I try hard
to push these images
away
these are the things
that I do not wish
to dwell in
to linger in
to smile at them
when they are as thin
as the fading air

these images are just
a mere fraction
of my imagination
that tends to run
wild
and free
and they grow
yes, they grow
until they seem big
much too big
for my simple mind
to comprehend

at times
with a guilty look
I’ll dwell in them
these images
because I know
that they wouldn’t
be fulfilled
not in this lifetime

I’ll smile at the brightness
of the beaming sun
I’ll wave to the choir
who sings my song
I’ll blow kisses over
to you
from across my shore
in hope that they’ll reach you
as the wind caress your cheeks
I’ll dream of the day
that we will meet

and we will
one day
we will

I believe