she falls apart

I make you laugh;
I make you happy.
You make me want to
live.

Thank you for being
my friend.

It’s like another slap to my face. Another pain in my heart. Another crack in my life. And I don’t understand why.

Why?

Even though we are far, far apart, I am still reminded of the little things. I almost laughed at that little memory. It was funny. But it also brought a pang inside me. It hit so bad I almost stumbled.

You said many things to me. And I trusted you. Despite getting hurt over and over again and again, I trusted you.

So, why are we like this?

damn these feelings that arises the moment the sun sets they are always lingering always haunting always there you try to push them away you push those silly thoughts away you try you push them far into the darkest corner of your mind yet they are ever so persistent rising up to its peak where they torture you at high and you can barely think straight let alone attempting to even try every minute feels like forever there is no one to turn to no one you can share and they only one who can heal you that one person that person is not there

Palm trees are still
The air is chilly
The area is dim
Crickets whistle their song
Birds call their greetings
Rise is playing
The sun rises
We are comfortable
Simply like this
Like this

I wasn’t thinking about you. So why did you invade it? I did not open my door. Why did you force yourself in? Did I accidentally-on-purpose leave that door unlocked? Did I want you in all along? Did I allow you that privilege?

But it felt real. My surprise and happiness felt strongly and oddly tangible. Like I could still feel it on my cheek. The warmth of your touch. That look in your eyes. Your image burns my eyes.

I guess I still miss you.

I thought we could be
                        supers
I thought you could teach me to
                        fly

And sadly, I realized that I’ve no
one to share this news with
The first person I really wanted to tell
is lying right beside me
But I’ve still yet to say anything
and he’s busy with his video anyway

I feel like a little girl once again. The little giggly feeling tries to escape my throat every now and then. I feel like the little sister once again. I was surprised when he tapped my head lightly. I was having a rough day today. I’m glad he asked me to go shopping. I don’t need to drink tonight.