she falls apart

I thought that things would get
                        better
I thought that you would do
                        as you said
I thought that we could maintain that
                        bond
            But I guess not

I tried not to think so much
                        about it
I tried to get on with my life
                        normally
I tried to miss you a little less
                        each day
            But I guess not

A sad heart
A broken mind
A sad song drifts
in the still air

The crowd roars
The air is murky
The music is rising
in the quiet roof

A long night
A lonely night
I miss you

that has got to be
the most torturous phone call
on a train ever

I wondered how you were
I wondered if you were fine
I wondered if you were happy
I wondered if you had a good day or not
I wondered if you were busy
I wondered if you slept well
I wondered if you dreamed sweet dreams

I tried not to wonder if you’ve thought of me
I tried not to wonder if you’ve missed me
I tried not to wonder if you’ve dreamed about me
I tried not to wonder if I was even in your mind
I tried not to wonder why you didn’t respond to my messages

I’m just trying what I can
I’m just doing what I have to
I’m just giving what I have left

So I decided to be patient and to wait
Instead of constantly harassing you
Making you irritated with my wondering

But do you know that I worry so
When I get no word from you at all
The unanswered calls, the calls with no returns
I worry until my heart is sick

And then I see that you’re fine after all
You ignored me while you entertained

Will you not
answer my calls
nor return them
anymore, Sweet?

We played our game of thumb wrestling
You were smiling so happy, laughing
I felt the prick and the tears, welling
I looked down while the tears, threatening
We finished our game of thumb wrestling
I turned away before the tears, falling
Beat my chest as my heart, breaking

Wednesday night was such a bittersweet night
You were rather caring and you held me tight
But my emotions ran amok like water flowing
I clenched my fist into a ball and held my sobbing